Thursday, October 23, 2014

What's the Big Deal?

Is it really surprising that a celebrity had "some work done" and doesn't look the same.  I'm sure all of you have heard the "news" that Renee Zellweger doesn't look like herself.  Hell, it even made national news, which is ridiculous to
me.
When I first saw the picture of Renee, I thought she looked like Robin Wright, which is not a bad thing.  She doesn't look bad, she just looks different.  I say, good for her.  If she felt the need to change her look and it made her feel better, more power to her.  If I had the money, I would be getting some botox, fillers, peels, etc...  Pretty much anything except the knife.  I've seen what bad plastic surgery looks like and I just wouldn't take that chance.  If even a single one of you think otherwise, I've graciously given you a few reminders.



Little Who?  Yes that is Lil' Kim






 Italian Socialite, Michaela Romanini.  Looks like she may have had a sex change and her "eyebrow person" died or went blind.



Donatella Versace.  I'm at a loss for words as to what she looks like.




Saturday, October 18, 2014

Mommy Blogs

Since most of my Facebook friends are "mommies" I'm going to pray for forgiveness before I jump on my soap box.   I believe you all have a very hard job raising a child or children and trying your best to raise them to be descent people, not little ass holes that grow into adult ass holes.  I am also going to apologize to my blogger friends who write "Mommy Blogs."  I love you all, I read your blogs, your posts make me giggle, sometimes they make me want a kid or two, and most of the time your posts make me thank my lucky stars I don't have any children.
With that being said, I'm tired of all the "Mommy Blog" authors getting all the attention.  Their posts are shared all over the web.  They get invited on daytime talk shows to discuss their humorous posts or promote their mommy books.  Other Mommies identify with their posts about boogers, dirty diapers, first words, soccer games, and PTA. 
I guess there are very few of "me" out there.  Very few 40-something women, without kids, who have never been married, in the midst of a mid-life crisis, currently unemployed, and wondering what the hell to do with the rest of their lives.  That makes it hard to find like minded women to commiserate with or attract to read the blog and make me the popular blogger who gets invited to the Today show to talk about the days spent in pajamas writing the best selling book, that landed me on the show.  Oh well, I still love my pajamas.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Wake Up Call

I have friends on Facebook I've never met.  Some of these people I met through the blogging world, some are friends of friends.  It's funny that I consider people I've never met in person friends, but I do.  I enjoy reading their posts and seeing pictures of their families. 
Recently one of these people posted on Facebook that his wife had a stroke and prayers were needed.  His next post was that his wife of 30 years passed away.  Even though I have never spoken one word to this man or his wife, I cried.  My heart hurt for him.  Reading all of the posts of condolences and seeing all the pictures of them together was very touching and quite frankly a wake up call.  This beautiful woman who was his world was living a normal life and then taken from this world so suddenly.  That could be me, that could be my best friend, that could be you, we just never know when our time will be up.  
We all have our ups and downs and I, probably more than others piss and moan about the most insignificant things, but when you are faced with something like this, it makes you appreciate life.  When you think about losing someone, the car in the driveway, how much money you make, or the name on your designer shoes doesn't matter as much as  the thought of life without someone you care about.
Enjoy what you may think are the most mundane things in your life.  Hug a little longer.  Say I love you one more time.

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Usual

Today the job search got "real."  Not because the money is about to run out, but because I need some adult interaction.  I need to feel accomplished again.  I need to put on something other than pajamas or yoga pants five days a week.  I need something else to write about other than the dogs, the fact that I need a job, or my mid-life crisis.
I told myself when I quit the last job that it would only be a few weeks until I found something else, well that few weeks has turned into a few months.  I also told myself that I would get into a routine and not let myself fall into a funk.  Well, I did fall into a funk and I am slowly crawling out of it and am ready to contribute to society again, oh and the bills.
I'm really sick of daytime television.  I had no clue there were so many "judge" shows on TV these days.  Growing up there was Judge Wapner on The Peopl'e's Court, now there is Judge Judy, Divorce Court, Paternity Court,  The People's Court, and Judge Mathis just to name a few.  I'm sure there's many more I haven't had the pleasure of viewing.  All of them are super annoying, but they are like a train wreck, I can't look away from.
I think I've finally come to the realization that professional blogger or lottery winner will not be my chosen profession, so I need to put on my big girl panties and update the resume and get back on the proverbial horse.   But if anyone reading this knows of a professional blogger position that is available, or the winning lottery numbers for the next big drawing I would happily listen to what you've got to offer.
So, hopefully I will soon be writing about the new job I found, that is totally fabulous, where I make lots of $$$, have great benefits, love my boss, and my VERY flexible schedule.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I'm Thankful the TV Channel Wasn't Turned to Skinamax

I've been away from the blog for a few days, maybe weeks, I could say exactly if I wanted to, but I'm too lazy to confirm the precise amount of time.  Being unemployed makes the days blend together and I find myself frequently checking my phone to see what day it is.  I have sunk deeper into my "funk" and have had a few mini breakdowns.
Take yesterday for example.  I was being productive and had stripped the bed and loaded the washer and started it.  About 10 minutes into the wash cycle I heard it, the noise of something other than sheets, pillow cases, and the bedspread being tumbled around in the washer, and I knew immediately.  I rushed into the laundry room and frantically pushed the unlock button on the washer.  Water sloshed all over the floor as I pulled open the door and searched through the sopping wet sheets.  There it was, the remote control.  Now this isn't just any remote control, this is a radio frequency remote, which is not cheap to replace for someone who is currently unemployed.  As I pulled it from the water in the bottom of the washing machine, I noticed it was still lit up, a small glimmer of hope, but upon further examination, I knew I was probably fucked because the display screen obviously had water in it.  I rushed to get a tupperware container and the box of rice. In my heart I knew this wasn't going to work, but I had to try.  I ran upstairs to get the hairdryer and tried that too.  My heart was racing a million miles an hour, because I knew I was going to have to tell Babboo, what I did.  Just as I reached for the phone it rang, it was him.  I felt like he somehow already knew, like I'd been caught red handed.  I followed my hello with, please don't be mad at me.  I broke the news and then proceeded to cry like a child that just dropped her ice cream cone.  He actually took the new very well, probably because he lives with me and knows I'm close to losing the marble that is keeping me from being totally bat shit crazy.
Usually this short of thing just rolls off my back, but it was the tipping point, it was that last marble and it had just slipped through my fat little fingers.  Everything that I've been worrying about and contemplating over for the past 10 weeks came flooding in.  I felt like I'd been shrunk down to the size of one of those toy army men and I was drowning in the bottom of the washing machine, along side of the remote control that I had just sent to its watery grave.  I somehow pulled myself together, without the help of any alcohol or narcotics, finished the load of bedding and made the bed.  
Today has been slightly better, only a few tears and the kitchen floor was mopped.  I still count it as a one step forward, two steps back kind of day, but it could have been worse.  That's what I keep telling myself everyday, "IT COULD BE WORSE."  
Let's see how I feel after this weekend, the birthday weekend.  Not a major milestone birthday, but at this age, every birthday is an opportunity for a nervous breakdown.
Stay tuned.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Mini Me

I've heard it all my life, "you and your mom could be sisters! "You look just like your mom."  I thought we looked similar until I saw these pictures.  My mom is the little one in the majority of these and that's me in the color picture.  I do have that same facial expression that she has in the one with the bonnet (that I'm so annoyed, quit doing whatever the fuck you're doing look).  I was looking at the book face the other day while I was on the phone with her and found these pictures on her profile.  I literally said, "holy shit, I look just like you!"
And yes, those are all her brothers and sisters, she's one of ten.  The very bottom picture has all 10 kids in it, it's just hard to see the baby.







Monday, August 25, 2014

Fantasy Football Draft

courtesy of frontpagemag.com
Every year I know the end of the summer is near when Babboo has his Fantasy Football draft.  Don't get me wrong, I like sports it gives me a real reason to drink, other than stress.  I just don't want the summer to end, especially since it's been a cold summer.
I am excited for draft day because I get to open up the ol' appetizer board on Pinterest and plan the food selection.  I wish Babboo would let me stand up and announce the food.  I picture it going something like this:

            "For the first round of food in the 2014 Donkey Punchers Draft, I have selected Buffalo Chicken Dip......."   

I would rundown the entire menu that way, would try not to giggle, and would definitely be the only person in the room that was amused by my announcement.

Now I must move furniture around in the game room in preparation for the festivities.  The newly delivered pool table and the lack of the bar is making this a bit of a challenge.  Real world problems.

Side note:  Babboo is in more than one "league" and I think the "Donkey Punchers" is actually the college league in which they pick teams weekly not players.  I know it's a fabulous name....google it if you don't understand.