I don't want to offend any person that is actually mentally handicap by grouping them with the rocket scientists I deal with, but I am constantly saying to myself, "are you fucking retarded" about a million times a day.
My favorite question, "do you work here?" No, I found the name tag on the floor and thought it would be a laugh riot to put it on and spend my Sunday answering your stupid fucking questions, cleaning the restrooms, and basically loathing everyone.
Next is the "do you have anymore" person. Well I said no once, then twice, and a third time. We don't have more! Are you fucking deaf?! Asking again isn't going to make more magically appear. I can't shit more because you don't like what we do have. There are not any elves in the back I can ask to whip up what you need. This is it. This is all we have. DO NOT ASK ME AGAIN or I might hand you some Q-tips and tell you to clean out your fucking ears!!!
On a positive note, one in a million customers make me giggle. I had a little old lady come in last week that sounded exactly like Aunt Bethany from Christmas Vacation. "Grace? She passed away three years ago. "