Thursday, May 8, 2014

What Hat Will I Wear Today?

I created a Facebook Page for Jennifer Snarkypants for shits and giggles.  If you haven't created a "Page," they ask you to basically define the type of page it is.  The first option was easy, this is a "artist, band, or public figure."  The next category to choose was very difficult because you can only choose one, the madness.

  1. Actor/Director  - of course I could check this off.  I act like I give a shit everyday at work, and I am a great dictator director.
  2. Artist - another I could choose because aren't we all artists (in a snarky voice, trying to emulate a hipster).
  3. Athlete - sure, I run when chased.
  4. Author - yep, I'm writing this here post, on this here blog, so I'm an author.
  5. Business person - define business, because I'm in the business of snark, so I say yes.
  6. Chef - somewhat.  Babboo is really the chef of the house, I'm more of a sous chef.
  7. Coach - I coach myself off the ledge multiple times a day.
  8. Comedian - I have a vast collection of knock-knock jokes that kills every time I tell them.
  9. Dancer - OH YEAH, I've got amazing dance skills.  I'm the high scorer on "Dance, Dance, Revolution."
  10. Designer - This one is a touch vague. A designer of what I ask, because I'm sure I'm one of those.
  11. Entertainer - no brainer
  12. Entrepreneur - I'm trying over here, slowly building my empire.
  13. Fictional Character - I hate to admit it, but Snarkypants isn't my real last name.
  14. Government official - in Snarkville, I'm the President
  15. Journalist - I report the important news of my life to the masses here and elsewhere.
  16. Movie Character - not quite yet, but stay tuned.
  17. Musician or Band - Rock Band guitar player at your service.
  18. News Personality - See 15.
  19. Pet - Babboo's pet.
  20. Photographer - I have an Instagram account.
  21. Politician - See 14.  Although, I didn't have to run for my position it was self-appointed.  
  22. Producer - of what, I ask.
  23. Public figure - you're reading this aren't you?
  24. Teacher - I teach snark, pessimism, sarcasm, and how to creatively use the word fuck.
  25. Writer - I settled on this one, because I had to choose something.
I think "Jack of all trades, master of none snark" would be the best choice.  They should have a write-in option.

So go follow my Facebook Page.  It will probably be a shit ton of pictures I find humorous, but who knows, there could be a post here and there.


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