Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Yes Mom I Need Some Vitamin C and A Helmet

Well, if you are a Facebook friend, you have seen the carnage already.  I am usually not a person that is injury prone and I am coordinated.  You probably think otherwise considering these happened within two weeks of each other.
Injury number 1:

Taking two dogs outside on leashes at the same time is a really bad idea.  They were off and running before I could make it outside the door and BAM, arm slams against door.  I didn't cry for this one, I was just stunned.
As you can see, this one bruised up nicely.  The first pic is day 1 after the "incident."  Picture two, is about 4-5 days after, and picture 3 is about a week and a half after.  The bruising and overall swelling is down, but the lump on the wrist and the pain is still lingering like a bad hangover.

Now, on to the next injury. 
Dog is outside, it starts to rain, and when I say rain, I mean torrential downpour.  Morgan, being a princess, and very stubborn, basically says fuck getting wet, I'm going to stand in the shed for protection from the rain.  I go into shed, swoop her up, take one step out onto the wood ramp that leads into the shed, and once again, BAM!  This time both feet fly out from under me, I land on my left side butt cheek, or so I thought.  I jump up quickly, still holding the dog, because I'm a ninja like that, and run into the house.  Once in the house, sopping wet, I begin to cry, a little from the pain, a lot from me thinking, "really, what the fuck did I do to keep injuring myself?"  That night I was sore, and I fully expected to be covered in bruises immediately.  I wasn't.  Fast forward to the next morning.  Get up, sore, go downstairs to take the dogs out and Babboo says, "what the fuck babe," as he is reaching for my left arm.

This beauty developed overnight along with a headache, from hitting my head, a sore neck, and a very, very sore right hip, which I don't get since my left ass cheek took the brunt of the fall.  I'm pretty sure I either hit the right hip with my elbow and seriously pulled a muscle, since it is now excruciating to get out of bed or the car.  
The Facebook comments have been a mix of sympathy and humor, which I love, because they are from the same people.  One minute they are telling me they are sorry and the next they are saying I need a helmet.  
I'm just hoping the law of three passes me by and my Karma will turn around when I stop to purchase my lottery ticket today.  
Be safe out there friends.  And, may you have great luck with your lottery picks.  Please remember me when you win.


  1. Your right hip hurts because you jacked your spine up. Get your ass to a chiropractor! STAT!

  2. I'm just a big hot fucking mess....hahahahaha