Friday, July 18, 2014

All The Single Ladies, Hell Hath No Fury....

Anyone that is friends with me or reads this blog knows I piss and moan a lot.  If this is you're first time here you'll quickly learn that too, but don't think I am ungrateful about my life.  My life is always good and great at times.  It's just easier and much more interesting to write about the topics which make me piss and moan.

One thing I am hugely grateful for is that I am not in the dating scene.  My best friend, Carol, set me up with Babboo almost 3 years ago.  I had only been single for about 6 months when he and I started dating, so I was extremely lucky.  During those 6 months I hadn't even considered the whole on-line dating thing, so I don't know the ins and outs of it or the joys or horrors. Thank God.

As I was "researching" for this post, I was amazed at the number and very specific types of dating websites.  Some were very disturbing, and some were just totally absurd.  I think most people have heard about the "regular" sites like, eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk.  Then you have the sites that are hookup type sites, which also include, what I like to call, the cheater sites, which are just wrong.  Illicit Encounters, Real Wives Cheating, Married But Playing, are just a few I found, but the list goes on and on.  I find cheating disgusting, so if you Googled any of those websites and ended up here, you are a horrible fucking person.  The absurd are also plentiful.  My favorite absurd dating website, which I'm sure is a fake, Amish Online Dating.  If you know anything about the Amish, you can understand why this is such a nonsensical site.  If you don't know about the Amish, Google it, and you'll get it.  There's Farmers Only, STD Match, The Ugly Bug Ball, and Salad Match, just to name a few.  Only one of my friends have admitted to using any of these and that was Farmers Only.  Not sure why she used it, because she is not a farmer, nor is she looking for a farmer.

A friend, who used a "normal" site, posted on Facebook that she had a first date last night.   Two hours later she posted, "Got stood up!! Now my punishment is a traffic jam at 9pm."  Well of course, let the wave of comments commence, including me asking for a name and if I should publicly humiliate this guy on Facebook or in my blog.  That will come soon.  

To get all the facts right I told her to private message me some details, so I don't look like the ass hole labeling this guy as an ass hole.  This is her story:

"I got ready, waited for him to give the go, would take me 30 mins. I got there, there was a wait. I gave the hostess my number, she was to text me when the table was ready. I sat on the park bench outside the bar and waited. He calls me. So I answer my phone...He said "parking may be a problem". I'm like I park 2 blocks down at the Starbucks. He tells me all about how this is his route for ups, he knows where to park. I start talking to a baby next to me, I tell him about her, he says I think I see you. I turn around, he is there at the corner talking to me and waving in his car. He tells me he will be right there. 5 mins later the restaurant texts me the table is ready so I go in. I text him the table is ready, I'm inside. I get there, tell them he's parking and he'll be right there. I order a beer. 10 mins... 15.. I text him. Did you get lost?! Nothing. I call. One ring and voicemail. 30 mins I call again. One ring and voicemail. I embarassingly ask for my bill and run."

Of course I tell her she should Sly Dial him and tell him she hopes no one treats his daughters this way when they are old enough to date, because I'm a bitch that way. Find their weakness, stick the knife in, and twist. She tells me when she got home, "I went on the dating website we went on, he was online. I sent him a message explaining his wrongness and he blocked me.  Call him out on Facebook, I don't care."

So here it is, the "Call Out."  I deleted her picture and name, because quite frankly she did NOTHING wrong and I believe her anonymity should remain intact.
Per my friends request, here is his profile pic from Facebook.

Did you get his name in all of that?  If not, go back and read it again and steer clear of this one and let any of your friends in southeast, lower Michigan know too.  The moral of this story, don't be an ass hole when you use dating websites, or you will be called out on it, by someone, somewhere.


  1. I was also stood up once for a lunch date, and one of my coworkers was all fired up to do something similar! If you change your mind, just say so! I'm not going to kill myself because you don't want to go on a date with me, jeesh...

  2. His screen name on plenty of fish is kevin24834.