Monday, August 4, 2014

I'm An Organ Donor Are You? An Endorsement That is a Little Neurotic....

Picture courtesy of Oakwood
I am an organ donor.  It says so on my Mitten Driver's License.  But what if my DL is nowhere to be found, and Babboo and my parents aren't at the hospital at the very moment they need to know I'm an organ donor?! Or what if Babboo is there, but all the times I've told him I was an organ donor and he nodded, or just said uh huh, he wasn't really listening, just doing the, "I'm a man, I'm hearing you, but I'm not listening to you," response?!

Maybe I should get a tattoo that says, "Organ Donor," but then do I need to list the pre-approved organs?  What if the tattoo is on my butt, and the shark that bites me square in the ass (and leads to my ultimate demise)  takes out the hunk of my butt where the tattoo was, or part of the tattoo is cut off while I'm juggling chainsaws (which leads to my ultimate demise) and the tattoo just says, "Organ Don," and they think I'm some sort of porn star groupie.

Maybe I can invent a chip that gets implanted in the body that the hospital can scan and it alerts them that a person is an organ donor.  But then, the government will probably invent some sort of technology to use satellites and track people's movements, like a human LoJack.  My comings and goings would probably be ignored after a couple of weeks.  The guys in the booth, would be like, "hey Jim, she's at Dairy Queen again.  You want to bet on the Blizzard flavor she gets this time?"  Because you know damn well those satellites can zoom in that close!

Maybe my dream of becoming a professional blogger will come true and my millions of followers will be notified that I was in a serious Segway accident (and leads to my ultimate demise) via social media, and they will notify the hospital that I am an organ donor. Or one of the doctors or nurses will recognize me (because even though the Segway accident proves fatal, my face is unscathed in the accident) and know to take my organs.

Maybe I'll live to be 100 and at that point someone will have figured out how to grow organs in the lab and there won't be a reason to harvest my shriveled organs. I really hope that happens, at least the growing of organs part.

Be An Organ Donor and Save the Lives of Others :)

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