Tuesday, October 28, 2014

An Acronym for S.H.I.T. H.E.A.D.(s)

Why is it that corporate "big wigs" in retail always come up with ridiculous acronyms for everything?   It's almost like they think their employees aren't smart enough to remember how to treat a customer so they come up with something to help them mentally check off how to help each customer.  
During my job search I have come across a few of this acronyms:
1.  HERO 
2.  APPLE
3.  GUEST
4.  SMILE
5.  GREAT
6.  SERVICE
7.  LEARN
8.  LAST
9.  SHINE
10.  My last employer used the acronym "GOT A PEN" to remind their associates how to act like normal retail sales people.  

I guess since so many people have less than stellar manners these days it's hard to hire people that will actually treat customers like they should be treated.  These catchy little acronyms are always there to help the snarkiest of employees slap on a smile, and give the best customer service ever!

After working in retail for so long, I believe someone should come up with some acronyms for customers so they remember their manners when they are shopping.  The next time you go into a store and you are interacting with a sales associate, don't be a S.H.I.T. H.E.A.D.

Say please and thank you.   Self explanatory, basically have some manners.
Hang up the phone.  If you want some help, get off your phone!
I didn't set the prices.  Don't complain about how the prices are too high.
Talk to me not at me.  I am not a child or your servant, speak to me like I'm a human being.
Handle your children.  I am not your nanny or maid, control your children and clean up after them.
Everyone is not your personal shopper.  The entire staff cannot help you, there are other customers.
Always pull your cart over.  Don't leave your cart in the middle of the aisle.
Don't expect me to make your decision for you.  You're a grown person, it's your money, I'm not telling you what to buy.

So there is a little acronym for all the SHIT HEAD shoppers out there.  Bookmark this one and read it on Black Friday.  Notice I said BLACK FRIDAY and not Thanksgiving.  If you shop on Thanksgiving, you are the biggest SHIT HEAD of them all!!!!! There is no hope for you!!!!!!  I will absolutely NOT apologize to any of my friends who shop on Thanksgiving for calling you a shit head!   PEOPLE WHO WORK IN RETAIL SHOULD BE ABLE TO SPEND HOLIDAYS WITH THEIR FAMILIES, NOT DEALING WITH THE SHIT HEADS OF THE WORLD!

Don't forget to shop local businesses on Saturday, November 29th!




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