Friday, April 24, 2015

Oh Gina You're So Fine, You're So Fine You Blow My Mind....Part 2

Spring, oh glorious Spring!  The time of the year when I wish I had made and kept a New Year's resolution to lose some weight.  I'm horrified to think very soon I will be on the lake in a bathing suit muumuu.  I have a whole Pinterest board of exercises and toned bodies for inspiration and guidance.  I just need to put down the Pringles and get to it.

The one area that we (women) all probably overlook, (unless you have that embarrassing "pee your pants" problem and the doctor tells you to do some kegels) your Gina.  While searching the Internet for vagina steamers, not the drink, the spa treatment, I found this:

Photo by Kim Anami
Your eyes are not deceiving you, that is a plastic bottle filled with some sort of red substance, maybe ketchup, Snapple, Siracha, or possibly strawberry jelly. It is hanging from a string leading up to this chick's Gina.  That woman is Kim Anami and her Instagram shows off herculean vagina. (Please go to her Instagram, I want you to see these pictures!)


In her article, "10 Benefits of Vaginal Weightlifting," Kim lists "a natural face lift" and "the ability to shoot ping pong balls as 2 of the benefits.  A natural face lift sounds great, AND you have also learned an awesome bar/party trick, do you really need any more to be convinced?  Well, if you do, here's what I imagine you could do with your muscle bound Gina:

  1. Peel a banana.
  2. Pull a Lorena Bobbitt (cue the men cringing)
  3. Paint a piece of abstract art to hang above your fireplace.  Makes a great conversation starter.
  4. Have an extra "hand" to carry in all your groceries from the car in one trip.
  5. Hang a wreath or some mistletoe from it during Christmas time.
  6. Use it as a change purse.
  7. VAGINA BEER PONG!!!
So go get yourself some vagina weights ladies and make Gina ripped!

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