Part of the Wikipedia definition of Midlife crisis:
"A mid-life crisis is experienced by some people as they realize they have reached a midpoint in their lifespan and experience conflicts or dissatisfaction within themselves because of unrealized goals, self-perceptions or physical changes as a result of aging or health issues.Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions such as andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home. Additionally, when experiencing a mid-life crisis, people may reassess their achievements in terms of their dreams. The result may be a desire to make significant changes in areas such as career, work-life balance, marriage, romantic relationships, finances, or physical appearance."
The only thing that was missing from the definition was a picture of me. How many of you reading this shook your head in agreement to 3 or more of these things? I would say I checked off 90% of them. Let's get one thing straight, menopause was not on my list, thank God. The most horrible part of my research on midlife crises, they reportedly last 2-5 years for women. I guess that could be good or bad, since I feel like I've been having one for at least 2 years. On the other hand, it hasn't been five years, so I could be here awhile longer.
The only thing that keeps me off the ledge is the knowledge that my life is not horrible and so many people would be thankful to have my life, and I am thankful to have the life I have. I just need to get my head straight. I need to make a change and I've been trying. Change is hard for a multitude of reasons, and usually the kind of change that occurs is not the one you're striving to make. It's usually the exact opposite of what you want. There's no way to guarantee the "right" change. All the planning in the world will NOT make it so. Sometimes you're just at the mercy of the world and the only thing that will keep you going is to roll with the punches, get back up on the horse, try try again....all those cliches which basically mean don't stop trying.