Monday, May 23, 2016

A Small Fish in a BIG Pond

I'm not snarky all the time. Sometimes I have moments of self realization, fear, sorrow, and happiness. Sometimes I run through them all in a matter of minutes. My sweet Babboo says I'm too sensitive, but I think that's a good thing. Sensitive people are caring people. They can empathize and sympathize with others more easily than less sensitive people. Sensitive people also tend to cry more than others and that I am truly guilty of.
A few nights ago I had a moment of sorts. As most of you know, we have two dogs. Morgan, the coonhound, gets up every night to go outside. I have started putting a leash on her so she won't torment the creatures of the night. As I was standing in the yard with her sniffing around me, I happened to look up at the stars and started to think how small and insignificant I really was. I mean in the grand scheme of things we all are, right? There's a whole big world out there we know nothing about and probably don't understand. It just struck me at that moment, I'm not sure why. There I was in my pink pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, no makeup, at 3 a.m., contemplating my existence, and it was a little sad. I think even the most financially successful people have these moments. I think the most religious people have these moments. No matter the job you have, the religion you practice, where you live, or how old you are, these moments sneak up on us.
After the dogs did their business and we were all back in our beds, I laid awake for awhile thinking about a million things. My thoughts always go to the fact that I never thought I'd be where I'm at in this point of my life, and I mean the good and the bad. Que the plethora of emotions to go through in a matter of minutes. That night and those feelings have stuck with me longer than usual. Typically those thoughts go just as quickly as they appear. I thought for sure I'd wake up in the morning and they'd be forgotten like so many of my dreams from the night before. Not this time.

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